Though we are the same physically but our mentallity or thinking is changing throughout time. An event or an idea may have different meaning now than it did in the past. Have you heard of this idea that if you want something in your life you must attract it? I got this while reading/watching The Secret. So thats when I started experimenting, trying to want something so badly that it had to come true. Well it didn really come 100%, but approx 70% true which is good enough. Right now, looking back and thinking where did the 30% go, I think, I feel that somewhere deep inside me something is saying that I'm not good enough for my dreams that I dont deserve anything good. Let me enlighten you to what type of person I am on the inside. I have problem communicating my feelings, like Im trapped inside(tongue tied) when I want to sound my emotions especially negative ones. Used to throw tantrum because I could not deal with my emotions. I feel I dont deserve love, I tend to shower people with material goods to cover what I lack emotionally. I'm detached. But the ones who matter knows my love and understands it, and I treasure whatever goodness, kindness and love showered upon me. I'm making an effort to solve the root of all my problems. Taking one babystep at a time. Show more love as well as accept love, because love is the single most important thing in life. Not money etc.. And when I can be in the receiving state, things will become easier for me, I can achieve my goals better because love heals. Being what I am for 22 years now and all the while trying to understand my self,this is the conclusion that I derive, when you are okay in the inside things will be okay on the outside. Perhaps thats why you should not keep grunt, hurt, negative emotions locked into yourself and perhaps anger is a by product of all these negative emotions. I know because I have been through it. I am glad for all the mistakes I make, for all the people I hurt, because I'm a better person now. I hope for forgiveness, and for those souls who have wounded my heart I wish them godspeed, you hurt me no more and I forgive you. Things are still pretty confused, I hope the cloud clears off and even if it didn.. Im at peace...